Our emotions are just energy in motion. These are the ways that our body and mind let us know that something is going on that we need to pay attention to.
After experiencing an emotion, we can change how we feel in any situation based on the label that we place on our experience. When we label something as “good” or “bad” we are attaching a meaning to that situation, and this just makes our experience of it louder.
When you are going through a deep challenge, and you don’t know how to manage the emotions that arise, here are some practices that can help:
- Breathe deep – Our breath is the first sign that connects our emotions to our physical self. When our brain detects perceived danger, it will always send us a warning, and one of the signals it evokes in our body is that our breath becomes shallow and fast-paced (to prepare us to run).
By consciously slowing your breath, you are signaling to your body to be calm. And this, in turn, starts to calm your mind, so that you can start to shift the way you feel in any situation.
Breathing also helps you be in the present, which is the only real place that exists. It takes away the guilt from what happened in the past, and the anxiety from what can happen in the future.
PRACTICE – 4×4 breathing:
- Breathe in for 4 seconds
- Hold your breath for 4 seconds
- Release your breath for 4 seconds
- Hold your breath for 4 seconds
Repeat this until you feel more calm
- Detach yourself from the situation – For us to be able to see a different perspective, we have to be able to see the situation from afar.
By imagining that you step out of your personal experience for a moment, and see what is happening like an outsider, it will allow you to think more clearly without being clouded by your emotions.
PRACTICE – The mental cinema
- Imagine you are sitting in a cinema
- Now on the screen, play the situation that you are going through right now
- Remind yourself you are simply an observer, and detach yourself from any emotion
- Now imagine you are watching the same mental movie but from another person’s perspective
- What do you see differently? What would you say to yourself?
- Move – Exercise will not only move your blood, but it also helps move your emotions, boost your endorphins, release stress, and eliminate toxins.
PRACTICE – Move!
- Take an energetic walk for 30 minutes
- Dance to music that you love
- Go to the gym
- Take yoga
Any movement is a win
- Release – There are many ways that you can use to release the heaviness of an intense emotion. These practices will help you release the energy behind any emotion, so you can feel more balanced and calm.
This technique is specially important for matters that are completely out of your control (like a broken relationship, or how other people feel)
PRACTICES – You can repeat these techniques as many times as you need!
- a) The egg technique
- Grab an egg in your hands and imagine placing into it any heaviness that you feel inside. Any anger, grief, sadness, or any other emotion that you want to release.
- Once you feel all those emotions are tightly stored inside the egg, you can proceed to destroy it in any way that you choose.
- By actually feeling and seeing the egg get destroyed, you liberate the energy of the emotion you were holding in your being.
- b) The release letter
- Take a piece of paper and write down anything that you want to release. Any anger, pain frustration etc.
- Once you finish writing down everything, take the piece of paper, crumple it up, and then burn it up (with caution)
- See the paper burn into ashes as you feel the emotions liberating
- c) The helium balloon
- Take a piece of paper and write down anything that you want to release. Any anger, pain frustration etc.
- Attach this piece of paper to a helium balloon, and when you are ready, let it go.
- Watch the balloon as it gets smaller and smaller, getting lost in the vastness of the sky along with the emotions you want to release
- You can also do this exercise through visualization (if you don’t have access to the helium balloon)
- Reorganize – When you are going through a difficult situation, you will not only feel emotions piling up but also your thoughts. Our mind also tends to present us with all the different scenarios of what can happen in any situation, and this may feel overwhelming.
Since our body, our emotions and our thoughts are all connected, by organizing our physical space, we also organize our inner self.
PRACTICE – Clean up
- Go to your closet and take all your clothes out. Put away the things that you haven’t worn for more than 6 months and that you know you won’t use again. Then, reorganize your closet with what you do use and like, and give the rest away.
- Clear out all your drawers, and keep only what you need. Donate, recycle, or release the rest.
- Repeat this process with all the areas of your home, from your bathroom to the kitchen.
You will feel much lighter after you are done!
- Connect – Remember that you are not alone. Connect with people who can support you along your journey and ask for help. Everything gets easier when you don’t have to carry the weight on your own.
Having another human being to talk to will give you a different perspective as well, and help you see things from a different lens.
PRACTICE – The three conversations
- Focus on connecting deeply with 3 people in the next week
- Go out for coffee, call them, or meet with them anywhere you like, but make sure you schedule at least 1 hour of quality time for a conversation.
- Remember that a relationship is for two people, so also get interested in the other person and what they are up to.
- Do something you love – Every time you do something you love, you change your focus. And wherever you set your attention, that grows.
You can take a painting class, learn to play an instrument, start your vegetable garden, or watch a funny video. The possibilities are endless and they depend entirely on you!
Slowly you will see that if you dedicate time to doing the things that you love, your state will also shift.
PRACTICE – Find what makes your heart sing
- Make a list of all the things that you enjoy doing (that have nothing to do with your work or with chores)
- From that list, choose the top 3 that you want to start with, and set a time and day to start.
- Create a space every day to do something you enjoy, because you WANT to, not because you HAVE to.